Each of us must have experienced the feeling of being hated by someone at certain times in life. In case you don't do something to someone, what you should do is apologize and try to correct the mistake. However, if someone hates you for reasons that do not affect them, such as personality or dress, then perhaps you should not bother or try to change yourself.
Instead, always protect yourself, both mentally and physically before those objects. One thing you should keep in mind is that we cannot please everyone and trying to prevent unreasonable hatred from others will only make you more upset. Below are 4 ways to deal with the problem, hoping that they will somehow help you.
I. Indirect method
1. Don't care about them
If possible, it's best to never pay attention to those who hate you. The more uncomfortable you are with provocations, the more excited your opponent is. This can become a vicious cycle when someone hates you, you react, that person reacts to your reaction.
- If the enemy deliberately annoys, pretend you don't hear. Don't react in any way when the enemy provokes or tries to draw your attention to him.
- Always remember that ignoring is not always good in all situations. If the enemy starts to attack you physically or verbally, it is best to ask the competent person in the organization to intervene.
2. Be confident
Confidence is always the best weapon to deal with enemies. Except for slander, smart behavior when provoked and be positive. If you don't lose your confidence, people who hate you will be discouraged and let you settle down.
- For example, if someone insults your artwork, don't get angry and calm down. "Sorry for making you uncomfortable, but art is subjective. I will do my best to improve it so I appreciate the constructive criticism you might have."
- If someone says you are "unusual", you can answer: "Maybe there is a bit, but I like to be myself. Is there anything wrong?"
- When you have to walk with a group in which someone seems to dislike you, don't put your head down or be shy. Those actions are like you say you're afraid of them and that's what they want. Hold your head high and head straight ahead.
3. Avoid haters
It doesn't mean that you avoid them. Never let bullies take control of your life. Try to put yourself in situations that don't require you to interact with someone who doesn't like you.
- When you are young, you will especially notice that many people hate you because they don't understand your interests and your passion. Instead of tying your life to the negative thoughts of these people, keep focusing on pursuing your passion.
- If you are in a group with that person, try to find out if you can go to another organization more suitable.
- Avoiding contact with people who hate you is also one of the ways to increase confidence because you don't need to worry about them then.
4. Prove them wrong
If the haters say that you can't do something, the best way is to prove to them that we can do it. Of course, these are things that are not illegal. Do what they think you can't and do well. Take advantage of their hatred to motivate yourself.
- For example, if someone who hates you says you will never be able to enter a magnet school, do your best to have your name on the school's list of students.
- However, you should also know one thing that proves the enemy's mistake is not always to stop them from hating you. In some cases, your success even makes your opponent become more angry. That's not the reason to prevent you from succeeding, but don't do anything to try to brag. Live your life, don't care about them.
II. Direct confrontation
1. Speak up
If you feel that everything is beyond your tolerance, don't try. Evading is not always the way to solve problems. Find the right time to speak frankly and honestly with people who don't like you.
Talk like an adult and show your goodwill no matter how rude they were before. This is especially important for those who hate passive, meaning they do not directly offend you.
- Try to tell people who hate you this way: "I have received a lot of negative thoughts from you recently and I would appreciate it if you keep those thoughts to yourself. That's so childish. and I don't want to have to deal with it ".
- Also, sometimes we should find out why they hate you. "What did I do to offend you? You seem to have a negative attitude towards me and I don't understand why?"
2. Don't get angry
What the opponent wants is to dominate your emotions and to avoid that, never show anger or frustration. Give yourself time to calm down and give the necessary resistance.
3. Avoid physical violence
Just resolve the conflict verbally. See hatred like a fire that fire is easily extinguished by water. Using fire to put out a fire is impossible.
- Even if you are someone who does not expect to start a fight, do not let the enemy hurt you. Learn to defend yourself and protect yourself.
III. Respond to online comments.
1. Do not answer troll sentences
People who don't like you show it online even more than you see every day. However, keep in mind that their motives are the same: look for reactions from you. Luckily, we have many ways to prevent it on social networks.
- Block. Most social networks have this feature and you can use it for people trying to provoke you.
2. Privacy protection
Do not use real names online except Facebook or some other reputable online tools. It would be bad if you had a special name and could easily follow it through a search engine. Use nicknames on forums and do not include your personal information such as phone numbers on those forums or websites.
- Always remember that anything you put on the Internet will be saved almost forever. As soon as you think you have deleted the bad guys, they may also quickly take a screenshot of the screen to use for their not so good intentions. Think carefully before posting.
3. Tell someone if you feel threatened.
- If people hate you constantly blasphemy and offer direct threats, talk to someone you can trust. It could be colleagues, friends, parents or even police.
- Don't delete anything you get from bad guys. Although you may be hurt by reading those messages, it's best to keep them. If things escalate to the point that government intervention is needed, you will need proof of what happened.
4. Accept criticism
If you run a business, you may get some negative reviews about your product or service. Because they are anonymous, people can say anything they want. Do not let their words destroy your confidence, but also consider carefully. A comment expressed in a negative way does not mean it's wrong. Consider the critiques from there that respond accordingly.
IV. Immutable center between the eternal flow of variables
1. Maintain point of view
The haters can make your life miserable now, but try to think about really important things. Fish is when you realize this, you will be in a completely different space. The nature of life is always changing. Do not let people who do not like you dominate your life.
2. The experience is only temporary
Think about how long you will have to deal with people who don't like you. Imagine yourself for the next 5 years, thinking about where you want to go, what you want to do. Ask yourself if these people are still part of your life at that time. Normally, after a few years, you never have to see those guys again.
- If people who hate you are still a concern after 5 years, ask yourself what you can do to change. Transfer, transfer agencies? Change yourself? Or face them?
- If these people disappear from your life after 5 years, think about why. Is it because you switch to another job or something. Thinking about how this could happen sooner?
The hatred will also happen to those who spread it. Those who are hating you may not because of any mistakes or omissions by you. Try once to find empathy to open your heart.
- If you forgive those who hate you, you may feel that their words are no longer important. However, do not misunderstand the so-called forgiveness. Do not tell yourself that they are stupid or scum-worthy people that are not worth caring about, as soon as these things can be true. Remind yourself those who hate you are also people with their own thoughts and feelings.