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In this life, if anyone is a parent, they can fully understand the parents’ hearts, every parent wishes for their children to have the best and most complete life so that they are not inferior to anyone. However, in this life, there are times when parents and children are unable to avoid conflicts, in moments of instantaneous anger, parents unknowingly say words that accidentally deeply hurt their children. .
To avoid hurting their children, parents should pay attention to the following 4 words, no matter how angry or how they do not tell their children because it can make children more depressed.
1. “Look at their children.”
Comparing your children with others ‘children, or classmates is probably a habit that is deeply ingrained in most Vietnamese parents’ thoughts in everyday life.
It can be easily seen that parents always take the character “their children”, although it is not clear who the child is, but according to the parents, it is a good example, good person, good deed .. Everything is good, is the norm to compel your child to follow. However, most people do not notice that these un malicious comparisons silently hurt children deeply.
If this comparison is repeated over and over again in anything, it will make children realize that if they are not like “human”, their parents will not love them anymore. Putting your child’s shortcomings in comparison with the strengths of others will make them a different person, gradually being shy, self-conscious, even complaining about their parents and “their children.”
In fact, this comparison has nothing to do with your child, it does not make him any better. So, instead of comparing, parents should encourage their children to be confident in themselves so that they can do what they like, develop naturally.
2. “You are still like that, you won’t love me anymore”
Perhaps there is no emotion comparable to the love of parents for their children. And of course no one would “not love you anymore” just because you have a certain defect.
However, many parents often bring their love to “scare” their children. Some even joke with their children often by saying:
“If you are still like that, I will not love you anymore, I will pick you up … to raise.”
With a young mind, you will think that the parent’s love for you is not much and not forever, it can change if you do something wrong, these actions of invisible parents. Do not create psychological fear for children, make them stay away from loved ones.
3. “Bao many times still do not listen”
Sometimes children will be stubborn, stubborn and not obey their parents. At such times most parents often tell their children:
“Father / mother said I don’t know how many times, yet I still never listen.”
If you want your children to obey, you should not use negative methods such as loud shouting or spanking … All are in vain, it will make the child become stubborn, or be able to work in a coping manner. parents to finish work.
Moreover, if they repeat the phrase “say how many times and still do not listen”, children will realize that they are such a person, becoming difficult for a long time and deliberately disobeying their parents. .
Instead of using commands or scolding children, parents should explain to their children the problem.
For example, when your baby pulls a toy out to play, it’s time to eat dinner, but he refuses to put the toy in place, instead of giving him a command, gently tell him, ” After playing with toys, you should learn to tidy up the toys to make the room tidy, when the toys are neatly arranged you will find it easier to find it than in this mess, right? Can you help me put that toy in place? “
4. “Let’s show it to parents again”
Did you know words that are just unintentional can change a child’s taste. For example, for a long time, the children came to visit their grandparents, his mother said, “The day before, I sang a song, Grandma was very good.
Actually, the child’s actions and interests are temporary. However, due to the encouragement of the parents, the child repeats that action many times.
These seemingly impersonal statements make children disoriented, making them not know what they like, what they hate.
Parents need to have a clear awareness between “what they want” and “what they want”. Instead of telling your child to do one thing or another as you wish, ask yourself, “Do you really enjoy doing it?”
Raising and teaching children is a very important thing, but do not turn your children into a pet by forcing them to do this and that.
Let children develop and live up to their instincts to have a happy childhood!