#Chinese #Year #cooked #meals #family #mother #gave #basket #eggs #grandson #opening #husband #wanted #divorce
In the past, when there was a lack of material, adults always like to attribute patriarchy to poverty. After all, there are so many disposable resources in the family, and it is normal for parents to prefer their sons.
However, over the years, most families now have a well-off life, with a house, a car and a deposit, but even if life becomes prosperous, some parents still have countless excuses and reasons to favor their sons and despise their daughters.
Human hearts are grown in flesh, and children are born with immense trust in their parents. If it is only because of gender issues, daughters will always be in a position of being unfairly treated, and it will be difficult for anyone to balance. Moreover, don’t look at many parents who threatened to care for their daughters when they were young, but in their old age, all they can count on is the daughter who is not to be seen.
For decades, I have been contending with my parents. They are all kind and good people who are kind to their relatives and friends, and they are reasonable in their work, but they only have a problem with their sons and daughters and resolutely implement the patriarchal policy. In the eyes of my parents, others who have sons must also have sons. Sons are the continuation of the family’s blood, and it is their face and glory.
During this struggle, I had a strained relationship with my parents, and I couldn’t get close to my younger brother. After all, I moved, or tried to move the cheese that was his only piece. In recent years, I tried to reconcile with them, but I was disappointed again and again.
It was a happy New Year at other people’s house, but Song Yimei (a pseudonym) was full of complaints. She couldn’t help but feel numb at the thought of welcoming waves of New Year guests. She married Chu Jie, and it was an incumbent responsibility to receive five or six tables of relatives from her in-laws, but her parents also spoke, saying that she would give her a few tables of guests.
Mom and Dad said that there were not many relatives who came to pay New Year’s greetings. There were about three people at the table, and they gave Song Yimei 500 yuan to buy vegetables. In fact, Song Yimei was very difficult. She knew that her parents were getting older, and it was right for daughters to take care of them, but Chu Jie did not allow her to be nosy.
Chu Jie held a grudge against him, thinking that when he came to propose a marriage, his mother-in-law gave a gift of 120,000 yuan without a dowry. The intention of the parents-in-law was obvious. They were saving a wife for the son. Although people were finally persuaded to reduce the bride price by 20,000, Chu Jie did not appreciate this sentiment.
It’s no wonder that Chu Jie was unhappy. Song Yimei knew that some of his parents were really not kind. The younger brother is the parents’ heart. Whatever he wants and what he wants to eat, his parents must do everything they can to satisfy his wish. And she doesn’t have such good patience and care for her, which she has become accustomed to.
The parents have a catch phrase: “The water thrown out by the daughter who married out.” When the son was just born, the father-in-law was performing surgery in the hospital, and the mother-in-law couldn’t help her confinement. Song Yimei wanted her mother to take care of her for a few days. At that time, her mother took these words back to her. Song Yimei heard tears and hung up the phone. The family had no conditions to invite the confinement, so she had to make do with the confinement by herself.
However, when the parents asked her, the words were different, and they told her the principle of equality between children. No matter how reluctant Song Yimei was in her heart, it was the one who gave birth to her after all. Knowing that her husband had a lot of complaints against her natal family, Song Yimei did so without telling him.
In fact, Song Yimei knows that his parents are not short of money. They search and search all day to save money for his younger brother. The younger brother got married and married a wife to buy a house, and his parents spared no effort to sponsor each time. Later, when his natal family was demolished, the parents directly registered the two houses under his son’s name, and gave him 500,000 yuan for demolition.
There is no harm if there is no comparison. After Song Yimei got married and her in-laws squeezed in a 70-square-meter two-bedroom house, her son didn’t even have a study room, so he could only do his homework on the coffee table. Song Yimei discussed with her parents to see if she could sell her a set for less money. The parents worried that their daughter would not be able to pay, and hurriedly said that they could not be a family when they were old.
It wasn’t until the younger brother’s work needed that he took his wife and children to settle in another place, and the parents left alone, and then he remembered his daughter’s goodness again. In front of Song Yimei, they yelled at their son and daughter-in-law for having no conscience, and getting the house money and ran away to hide. From now on, they have a headache and they seem to be counting on their daughter. He also said that there was no bowl of water before, as long as Song Yimei can take good care of them, and leave the savings to her in the future.
After being ignored by her parents for half a lifetime, Song Yimei was overjoyed when she suddenly heard this confession. After that, I came to wash my parents every other time, chat with them, take them to see a doctor, and the relationship was unprecedentedly harmonious.
The younger brother’s family came back to visit relatives. If Song Yimei ran into her mother and gave money to his younger sister-in-law, she had truly believed the promise of her parents. Song Yimei feels deceived, knowing that her parents’ patriarchal thinking goes deep into her bones, she doesn’t want to change. When she thinks of her brother’s family holding money everywhere, she has not lost any benefits, but she still has to work hard and resent her parents. I really feel sad .
The 500 yuan given by her parents far exceeded this amount for buying vegetables during the New Year, so Song Yimei was so embarrassed to ask her parents to make up for it. Not to mention the hard work of buying, washing, cutting and burning. After 6 consecutive meals have been cooked, Song Yimei has no time to go to relatives and stays at the stove. But the younger brother’s family is like guests. They wake up naturally every day and open their mouths when they eat.
Perhaps Song Yimei’s hard work was seen by her parents and sent a basket of eggs to her grandson a few days ago. Chu Jie was hungry after the night shift, so he took two eggs to cook the noodles. After opening, he was so angry that he was going to divorce, and the eggs were all broken. He said that Song Yimei was lowly, and after working hard for her family, she didn’t have any money for the house, and even the eggs were leftovers by others.
Song Yimei didn’t give up and ran to verify. As my husband said, my parents went to the countryside to buy more than 300 eggs for my younger brother before the Chinese New Year. The trunk was too full, and some younger brothers still said they would come back in a few days. Unexpectedly, now he said that he was too lazy to come back. I was willing to give the basket of eggs to my daughter.
This result made Song Yimei completely chilled. Let’s not talk about whether eggs are cheap or not. When parents buy eggs, they only think about their son and grandson. She, the daughter and grandson who lives in front of her, is not remembered at all. 300 eggs, don’t ask for an equal distribution, even if only 50 eggs are given to her, this is also a kind of worry. It is the love of parents for their children, but it is a pity that her parents do not have this heart.
Although Chu Jie said that divorce was angry, this incident became an invisible crack in the couple’s relationship. Song Yimei knew that if she took care of her parents in the future, Chu Jie would definitely turn her face on her. This is not to blame for his being true. It is true that her parents did things too badly.
In this world, there are many family conflicts and disagreements between brothers and sisters. In fact, the initiators are the parents. Due to the unfairness of the parents, the brothers and sisters competed, competed, and fought for favor. In the end, the family relationship faded and disappeared.
So, how can those old people who have children and daughters but no one is reliable in their later years fall into such a miserable state?
In an avalanche, no snowflake is innocent. As a parent, from the very beginning, you should have a good balance and educate your children to love each other, instead of distinguishing them and turning their relatives into enemies.