After escaping from the Internet company, I switched to helping people plan the "future"

After escaping from the Internet company, I switched to helping people plan the “future”

#escaping #Internet #company #switched #helping #people #plan #future

Editor’s note: This article is from the public micro-channel number “waves Institute” (ID: youth36kr), Author: Yang Xiaotong, Huang Zhen Yao, 36 krypton release authorized.

After leaving the Internet, I chose to deal with “life and death” every day.

Oral |Gu Yang

Author |Yang Xiaotong

Edit |Huang Zhenyao

The funeral and interment industry, which was once prohibitive at the first mention, has begun to become a career choice for a small group of young people.

Post-95 shroud models, post-90s enrollees, and farewell corpses, more and more “daring and careful” young people are beginning to play their abilities and value in the funeral industry.

In 1990, a girl Gu Yang, graduated from Ewha Womans University with a master’s degree, returned to China with the momentum of “I am born with usefulness” and entered an Internet company.

However, Gu Yang quickly resigned and plunged into the funeral and interment industry to become a planning and communication specialist during his lifetime. He has been in the business for 3 years now.

From the Internet that “rolled for KPIs” to the funeral industry of “slow work and meticulous work”, Gu Yang chose to become “China’s new generation of funeral and interment social workers”, dealing with the dying and the families of the deceased.

In the past three years, Gu Yang has also maintained a passion for the funeral and interment industry. She even began to study religion, history, and philosophy, and apply knowledge in other fields to dealing with dying people, and is committed to bringing professionalism to everyone in this field. s help.

It was precisely because of this job that she began to think about the meaning of life, slowly accumulating herself, and constantly accumulating herself.

The following is Gu Yang’s narrative.

When a person is alive, he should establish a post-mortem “contract”

I am a planning and communication specialist before a lifetime, specializing in dealing with dying people.

For example, the “Living Contract” that is popular in Europe, Japan, and the United States. We have introduced it to China, hoping that more people can make plans for themselves in advance——For example, how to deal with your belongings after death, what kind of farewell meeting to hold, who to invite, what farewell hall to use, and the specific form, sea burial, cremation, tree burial, or flower bed burial.

These are all people who should plan ahead for themselves when they are alive.(So ​​my job) is mainly to promote some advanced concepts of pre-life planning, such as wills and wills (referring to the instructions of what kind of medical care is not required at the end of life when people are healthy or conscious), and provide some end-of-life planning for the deceased Care and provide grief counseling to the family members of the deceased.

In order to promote these ideas, we also try to promote them offline. As expected, people will be very angry when they hear these topics.

When I first went to the pension expo, there was an old couple in their 50s and 60s.Take a look at my brochure and throw it on the ground. They will think: “Are you cursing me to die?”

Many people will have some psychological burden for this kind of advance planning and making a will. They feel that they will pass away tomorrow after making a will, but it is just an attitude of being responsible for their own lives. “My life is the master.” This is a very A clear expression of self-will. Not to make yourself distressed, the people around you will alleviate a lot of troubles because of this wise decision.

Gu Yang, who shared his career story at the Shanghai Book Fair

Our company has its own store in the community,There will be many people suffering from cancer or the patient’s family members who come to seek our help. For example, they want to find a hospice hospital in the community, or there will be a need to write a will or a need to write a will.

A few days ago, a friend also found me and said that her uncle had lung cancer, which is now in the advanced stage. The family hoped that he would not have too much pain, but my friend does not know what to do now. Then I told her what to do right now, and in a way that was in line with hospice care, I told her that the first step is to contact the nursing ward to relieve the patient’s physical pain, and then relieve his psychological pain.

There is also an old grandfather I have hosted. His wife was suffering from bowel cancer. He came to find me at the time, and wanted to make a plan for her funeral, including her inheritance and how to deal with her affairs. During the whole process, the grandfather had to leave the house and property to his daughter and grandson for his children. Regrettably, his daughter and grandson did not come to the scene during the entire process.

Nowadays, there are still many poor seniors, living alone, and widows. Their children fulfill the “three noes” principle of neglecting, disregarding, and not asking, so their retirement environment is more worrying.

Whenever they are confused about the handling of property, I will give them some help on the psychological level or legal resources. But as a non-family character, many times these grandparents just want to chat with me and express the injustice of fate: Why am I seriously ill? Why should I be so kind to God but treat me like this?He will have a lot of anger and denial. What I can do is to listen to him and be his listener.

In fact, this is a kind of treatment, called narrative medicine.The doctor, as a listener, listens to the patient’s story, and then patiently gives him some response and comfortThis can actually relieve the anxiety and pain of the patient to a great extent.

Through internships in funeral homes and cemeteries

I have a real “life and death” experience

There are a lot of young people in our company. Most of them are born in the 90s like me, and some are born in 1995 and 96. Some of them are from a college degree, and some are like me, with curiosity about the funeral industry, and they switched careers. .

Gu Yang work photo

In October 2018, I joined the position. I can’t say that my major and my work are okay, it can be said to be irrelevant.

I am studying news media, and I finished graduate school at Ewha Womans University, which is known as “the cradle of the Korean president’s wife”.Every year, I can get scholarships, publish papers and journals, and also be a teacher’s assistant, so I always feel that I can show my skills in my career.

In May 2018, after returning to China, he joined an Internet company. A newcomer in the workplace, and just returned from studying abroad, I am very uncomfortable with the changing role.When I worked for three months, because the speed of data processing was slower than others, the leader said to me in front of everyone in the company: “Gu Yang, why don’t you leave your job?” For me who just graduated, It was very harmful and I left the job the next day.

After leaving the job, I also had some doubts about myself and a big gap in my heart, so at that time I just sent my resume, feeling that any company could ask me.

Later, I received an interview invitation from the current company (a domestic funeral service provider).In fact, at the beginning, I was shocked when I received the call. I wondered how did I invest in the funeral industry at that time?

In the process of meeting and chatting, I found that my leader has some unique insights on the future development of the entire funeral industry and the corporate philosophy.He believes that the funeral and interment industry should not be limited to dealing with the remains of the deceased, but for the purpose of serving lives and providing more services around the topic of death.His charisma attracted me greatly, and I decided to enter this industry right now.

Gu Yang popularizes will knowledge in the community

We are the entire industry chain of funerals and burials. We have the right to operate funeral homes and cemeteries. We also have related stores in the community to promote the concept of planning during our lifetime. The company has a system similar to job rotation to facilitate employees to further understand funeral-related services.

In order to feel the working atmosphere of the funeral and interment industry and have a real “life and death” experience, I was in charge of planning and dissemination during my lifetime while going to funeral homes and cemeteries for internships.

When I first entered the industry, I was also scared, and started to tremble as soon as I walked to the entrance of the funeral home.There seems to be a bridge in the funeral home. I guess it should be called the Naihe Bridge. Every time I walk on that bridge, I feel frustrated. But seeing my colleagues are quite comfortable, I’m always scared, wouldn’t I just see it?Now that we have chosen this job, we must be in awe. We are people who serve the deceased and the families of the deceased. We treat this job with respect and do some psychological construction for ourselves. We will not be so. Fear.

During my internship in the funeral home, my job was as a etiquette and guide. After the family members of the deceased arrive at the funeral home, they have a lot of procedures to go through, such as issuing a death certificate, ordering a hall for the spirits, the current environment,These family members are very flustered, they need someone to guide one process after another, and I played such a role.

At that time, a master took me and guided my family members to complete the corresponding process. When it’s time to contact my family, I will bring my family from the mourning hall. It’s time to line up and bow, and I will line up with them. Like a traditional funeral, it will have the habit of giving gifts, bowls, and towels, so I’m responsible for wrapping the family members. towel.

There are more than 800 celebrities in our company’s cemetery, and a part of the relic museum is specially set up. Many people will visit and commemorate. Later, I went to the cemetery for internship in rotation, and I went to explain it to everyone, and it was considered to have been with these tombs for a period of time.

The cemetery operated by Gu Yang’s company (Shanghai)

But what really impresses me is the “strange-shaped” tombs, behind which are actually the pain and sadness of every family.

I remember one day, when the sun was very bright, a colleague and I were walking on the path of the cemetery and we saw a Bling Bling from a distance. We walked over and looked at it and found that it was a small football made of copper. There was a monument lying flat beside the football with a sentence written on it:“Although you flash across our world briefly like a shooting star, Mom and Dad will always love you.” This is the tomb of a 16-year-old boy.

The owner of another tomb is a 21-year-old boy who likes to drink. That night, he drank a lot, and finally was driven home by a friend. After returning home, he put him on the bed and never woke up the next day.His parents were heartbroken. When choosing the tomb, they specially made a broken wine bottle shape.

I think this is the broken heart of mom and dad. When faced with this kind of thing, everyone dare not say a word to their family members because it seems that every word they say will touch their sadness and make their noses sore.

Life is an exam

I’ve already read the test papers of the previous exams in advance

I am actually a beneficiary of this industry, because death has taught me a lot.

Every day I come into contact with people who have passed away or are about to pass away. I seem to be standing at the end of these people’s lives. I have the opportunity to browse through their lives and their past.It’s like everyone is taking an exam called Life, and I’ve already read the answers of the previous exams in advance. I know where others’ wrong questions are and who can get higher scores compared to taking it together. I have the advantage of other people taking the exam.

I will think more about life and look at death from a broader perspective. Human life is very impermanent. Death is not a matter of an age group. It is the same probability that every one of us has, and it can happen at any age group.

Gu Yang’s life photos

When I was working on the Internet, I might be thinking about these things every day for money, KPI, and first-level indicators. But when I am engaged in this industry, I will calm down even more and do service in a down-to-earth manner.Continue to study psychology, religion, and philosophy, and use this knowledge to better communicate with the people I serve.

These are things that I want to learn spontaneously. I want to learn about life, death, life education, law, psychology, funeral, history, and philosophy. I am interested in them and they also enrich my heart.

After someone in the family dies, everyone is at a loss. Those of us who are children don’t know how to help the family get out of the pain of bereavement.Life and death are not like mathematics. There are standard answers. Everyone shouldn’t have only one standard answer in their lives, so young people should also study more and find a way to deal with grief that suits them.

You can find some books to read,For example, “Tibetan Book of Life and Death”, “The Best Farewell”, “Living with Death”, “Death Is So Passionate”, etc., will give a lot of inspiration to life and death.Of course, the most important thing is not to depress, but to learn to release.

In December 2019, when my grandmother passed away, my mother also suffered loss after the bereavement. During her very painful period, I used some grief counseling methods to guide and support her.

Many people, including myself, before taking up this job, they would say “sorrow and change” in the face of this kind of thing, but in fact, there is no way to cover up the grief, and it can only be passed by time.So I gave my mother a vent. When she was her trash can, I listened to her and comforted her at the same time. I said that grandma knows that you are kind, and she will not blame you. She loves you very much.

When my mother was in a better mood, I happened to pick up a stray cat in Shanghai. The pet itself has a healing function. After half a year, my mother also came out of the sad period relatively smoothly.

Later, my father called me and said, “You didn’t do it for nothing in this industry. I didn’t expect to be so professional now.”

A Mao who accompanies Gu Yang’s mother

If everyone can put the “funeral industry”

Just treat it as an ordinary industry

However, it is really difficult for the funeral and interment industry to develop, even if its development prospects are good.

The funeral and interment industry is a very ordinary industry, but the whole society, for the funeral and interment industry, seems to be very sensitive, taboo, and even biased.

Once, when I went to the English corner after get off work, the teacher asked us to introduce ourselves. At that time, I said that I was working in the funeral and interment industry. There was a girl on the scene who made a “hush” voice, which was a mocking tone.

My mother told me too. As of today, she has not accepted my job, but she can only be forced to accept it because I have chosen this industry myself. It has been three years since I started this job, she still feels that I am overkill,Because she believes that the funeral industry does not require such a high degree of education as me, and anyone can do it.

The real relationship is relatively good. If I have known friends for a long time, I will directly say that I work in the funeral and interment industry, but I am not very familiar with friends. I will also talk about working in the elderly care industry.

Gu Yang who promoted the concept of planning during his lifetime at the Senior Care Expo

To be honest, occasionally I will have some gaps,This gap does not come from external comparisons, but the entire funeral and interment industry is developing very slowly.When all industries, especially the Internet, are developing at such a high speed, the funeral and interment industry is not as fast as other industries because of everyone’s taboos, everyone’s fear, and insufficient external driving force to move forward.

So far, our country has only 5 colleges and universities that specialize in funeral services, all of which are junior colleges and no undergraduates.How many students can these schools train every year? several hundred? several thousand? There are 1.4 billion people in our country, and nearly 10 million people pass away each year. Such a small number of funeral practitioners cannot serve so many people, so it may be difficult to provide better services.

Sometimes, whether I am myself or my company partners, everyone actually did a lot of hard work.There are some advanced technologies or products, such as the life spar that makes the ashes into spar as jewelry, the pre-mortem contract mentioned before, and the cloud sacrifice sweeping activity. We really want to promote these to the general public.

But the problem encountered is that although we want to develop this industry and promote advanced concepts, the society is repelling it, which makes our industry unable to speak up like other industries.

I think, if this industry can be like finance, like the Internet, or like other industries, everyone thinks it is enough for an ordinary industry.

I hope that more people can pay attention to this industry. In the next step, I also plan to make short videos of what I have learned to share with everyone, and share professional knowledge with more people in need.

Interactive topic

In the past, what did you think of the funeral industry? What do you think of people engaged in the funeral industry? Has this view changed?Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to tell us~

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