Émilie Bourdages lived through the hell of extreme domestic violence, where she certainly could have left her skin, but came out with her head held high, and agreed to tell her story today to help those who believe they do not. be able to recover from it.
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“The French language or any other language does not contain words strong enough, precise enough to describe the horror in which Mathieu plunged me, drowned and abandoned”, testified Émlie Bourdages before the parole board, speaking of her ex – spouse.
Mathieu Vanasse-Carpentier was sentenced to 9 years in prison for multiple assaults against him, for which he had pleaded guilty in exchange for the withdrawal of the charges of attempted murder.
In an interview with Jean-François Guérin on LCN, Ms. Bourdages said that her relationship of about three years with Vanasse-Carpentier obviously did not start with the blows.
“It never starts with physical violence, it is always with psychological violence. These violent men start by weaving their web, by testing the limits, by insults, by all kinds of things, ”she says.
While she had started dating and male in May 2008, it was in September of the same year that the physical violence began.
Getting your wrists tight, getting pushed into the wall, the first strangles, she recalls. And that was only the beginning.
“It tumbled down very, very quickly after a while. In December 2009, there was the first attempted murder. After that, it was a point of return where it was always more and more serious ”, she delivers to the program Le Québec Matin.
“For the past 18 months, I have been beaten several times a week, every week without exception.”
Émilie Bourdages also remembers an evening, when, after being beaten, she fled the scene, but had difficulty driving because she was so injured. She went to a relative, an hour’s drive away, bloody to find help. She will eventually leave with her partner, despite what he has done to her, because he threatened to kill himself.
She filed a complaint 2 years later
It took a while to finally file a complaint, and it wasn’t until the relationship ended that she chose to do so.
“Almost two years later, he calls me because he lost a watch I gave him on our first Christmas. And there he tells me that he is so angry that he wants to beat his new girlfriend, he tells me that! Me, it freezes my blood, because he described it with excitement. And in addition he had the nerve to tell me that it was my fault that I was the only person in the world who made him feel that way, because it was a watch that I had given him ”, explains -it.
It is the next day that Émilie Bourdages will meet the police at the neighborhood station to make a denunciation. They will take its whole story in hand.
“I was greeted with a lot of empathy, they took very good care of me.”
As for the 13 feminicides which have occurred since the beginning of the year, they strongly shake the woman.
She wants to send an urgent message to women victims of domestic violence. “Every time I want to scream as loud as I can ‘get out of here!’ We emphasize that separation is the most dangerous moment. It has been proven statistically, but me, my message that I want to send to the victims is that every day that you spend with a man who is violent, who is controlling, even if he has never dealt physical beatings, each day can be your last. There are premeditated, second degree, third degree murders. There are different types of conjugal murders, ”she urges.
Despite years marked by domestic violence, Émilie Bourdages was able to get up and start a new life. She is now married and happy in her relationship.
*** See his full interview in the video above. ***