The 10th feminicide recorded this year in Quebec in just 10 weeks with the murder of Dyann Serafica-Donaire, is another case that has gone under the radar, according to a specialist worker with men in distress.
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• Read also: Femicides: “violent spouses feel they are losing control”
Yet red flags and risk factors can be detected, and if addressed, the worst can be avoided.
This was explained in an interview with Québec Matin, Mario Trépanier, coordinator of the organization “Via l’Anse” in Salaberry-de-Valleyfield, member of the “À Cœur hommes” network.
“We have worked for more than 10 years with research communities and we know the risk factors. They are always the same! ”Says Mr. Trépanier.
“A spouse who refuses separation (in 90% of cases, they are men) who becomes harassing, who will threaten the safety of loved ones, threats of suicide.
Acts of violence, sexual assault, physical assault, verbal assault, psychological violence.
Listen to the interview with Isabelle Melançon, Liberal Member of Parliament for Verdun and official opposition critic for the status of women:
A spouse who refuses separation and who becomes harassing, who does not stop, who does not let go, this is the first factor to look at, ”explains the expert who works with men in distress struggling with violence.
Also: the instinct of the victim is also an important clue to the gravity of the situation.
“The concern of the victim. Intuition is a major factor. The victim is worried for his safety. She has the right to security, it is a guaranteed right. Ask for help. There are a hundred shelters in Quebec and even more, ”insists the expert.
Relatives must intervene
Relatives should also get involved when a situation seems to get out of hand, and have the right to contact help resources for their part.
“If you have people around you who are going through a separation, with a spouse who refuses it, that there is harassment, domestic violence, spouse depression, suicidal thoughts, do not abandon them! Tighten the links, tighten the threads. If you don’t know what to do, call SOS Violence conjugale ”, reiterates Mario Trépanier.
The worker who has worked with men in distress for many years sends a final message to those who are going through a difficult break-up and who find it very difficult to accept it.
Don’t become a criminal!
“They are in rage! What we say is that they have the right to be enraged, no problem! You have the right to be terrified of the break up that is coming, of all that you are going to lose. You have the right to feel sorry, to be demolished, no problem! You have the right to be ashamed of what is happening to you, but people have the right to leave us free from pressure, violence, harassment. This is the message we send to these men and this is how we support them. Don’t end your life like a criminal, a murderer doesn’t make sense! »He concludes.
To join the organization À cœur d’homme
Phone: 418 660-7799, toll free 1-877-660-7799
SOS violence conjugale at 1 800 363-9010
Quebec suicide prevention line
1 866 CALL (277-3553)
Kids Help Phone
1 800 668-6868
1 800 263-2266